Nocne niebo kusi, obiecuje, zachwyca. Gwiazdy migocą, szeptają coś, te małe drobiazgi wydają się biegać, gonić ze śmiechem. Więc goniłem za nimi z kamerą. Nie dały się złapać. Jeno Łysy pilnował swą wielgachną latarnią by swawoli za dużo nie było. Venus troche udało mi sie podejrzeć, gdy krygowała się przed Orionem siedzącym na dyszlu Wielkiego Wozu. Ale Łysy tak silnie świecił, , a Wenus tak się w odległych kątach kryły ze swoimi zalotami, żem ledwie mógł nieco tylko podejrzeć. Com widział, to pokażę. The night sky today was particularly busy with lovemaking or love-hoping. Although Moon kept an eye for proper behavior and shone huge light to toward the dark corners. Especially were Venus tried to spark an interest in her beauty from handsome Orion. As she tried to hide in the shadows of the night sky - I had hard time to catch her splendor. But what I did - I will show you.
How do you write a poem? Where is it borne? I mean – how the simple act of poetic writing occurs, how is it borne?
Of course, there are poets, who simply give themselves a task of writing a poem or three per day, or per week. When you do have a career as a poet, you are expected to keep writing. You need to publish here and there in a literary paper, every so often to publish a full new book of poetry. It is a job after all to maintain a name in circulation.
On the other hand, there are these impossible poets, who simply don’t give a damn about the business of being a poet. They just write when they feel like. Maybe once a day, or once a week, a month per chance? And some might even get silent for extended period of time. Free spirits.
What interest me in the original question is not how often or how rarely they write, but how the poem, the words are borne. Do you say them aloud? Is it possible that you think: I will write a poem about this or that? Do you seat yourself and start saying that poem aloud and copy it on paper (keyboard)? To be precise – is a poem borne in your soul or in your brain? Is it possible to use a verbatim form of recording a poem?
The other day I used a microphone that ‘types’ the words into a computer by itself (what will they think of next, LOL!). Therefore the poem was deliberately born in the brain. It had no form or ‘sketch’ that I ‘copy’ on paper. It was becoming as I was saying it to the mike. I knew therefore what I was saying but had no idea what the next stanza will be. In a way it turned out to be …a discourse with the microphone. And the microphone was trying to correct my trail of thought, LOL, which I resisted angrily. It became almost a battle of wills. Very amusing. Decided to keep it, as a reminder that it definitely is not my way of writing poetry. It felt almost Kantor-esque, if I can use the workings of great Polish and international theater stages by Tadeusz Kantor.
Here it is, cacophonic, almost angry, but somehow makes (maybe only to myself?) sense.
During the long Pleistocene there were few glacial movements in what is known now as an Okanagan Valley. It created an amazing mixture of land and water formations near Kelowna. Of course Okanagan Lake, the largest depository and former deepest channel of the glacier as it retreated from these lands. But there is multitude of smaller lakes stretching to Shuswap and Arrow Lakes to the east and multitude of smaller lakes in the mountains and hills surrounding the valley. Between – a maze of streams and small rivers feeding middle size lakes (Maramata, Kalamalka and Wood – to name just a few) or the huge Okanagan Lake.
Today I went for trek to some of the high hills (mind you – still hills, not proper mountains) on the southeast above Kelowna. It is a mixture of grassland and small patches of wooded area with pines and shrubs. Human habitation is ever encroaching there, as people build more and more monstrous mansions higher and higher. Still, I hiked higher and further. At a certain spot, traversing a deep gully with very steep sides I have noticed a narrow trail from the bottom to the other side. As the gass was half frozen and numerous patches os snow made it slippery, I gladly took that narrow trail. I realized quickly that it was narrow for a good reason – it was not made by other hikers but by animals. The only marks I found were those of coyotes and very distinctive footprints of a bear. As the slopes were very steep, I couldn’t see what was on the other side and ascertain how fresh the footprints were. My chances of running very quickly on that terrain were rather slim. But today our paths did not cross… , LOL. I followed, were I could, old existing trails: aptly named Hoodoo Trail, Coyote Trail and Grassland Trail. In parts – mostly it was just the grassland and the trails appeared and disappeared under the grass and snow.
The view from these hills toward the city far away and the mountains above me was just amazing. An eagle was screeching angrily at me – go home! And laughingly I yelled back at him: never you mind, I will not bother you, go away! Which he did flown away from hi s nest on one of the tall pines. The eagle also gave sign that a true spectacle was just about to begin: the absolutely stunning sunset on the west side and almost full moon on the east. It was something to behold. Hope my camera captured part of it. Enjoy.
In the middle of Kelowna there is a magic street called ‘Graham Road’. It is magic not only because of the name (my husband’s and soulmate) but because it is magic during the Christmas time. We went there tonight with my cousin, a good week after Christmas – but there was still plenty to marvel at. Check it out yourself. And next time you are during that time – remember to go there for a walk or drive .
Being the last day of the last year I went yesterday for a longer walk afternoon. Not far, maybe five kilometers, to the base of Toovey Hill in Kelowna. On the walk there I met a wonderful iron biker hurrying up to chase off the old year and bring the new one. And he did (as most of you I hope noticed, LOL – it is 2025).
But today the New Year is here. Why not – lets continue that walk started yesterday. And take our two dogs (Roko and Czorcik) along for that walk. We did. But why finish where I stopped last night? No point – newer should be better, shouldn’t it? Czorcik (pronounced Chorcheek which means exactly that in Polish – a little devil) being that tiny devil. agreed, LOL.
We went to the bottom of the hill, crossed a busy Highway 33 and ended up by little church and pond there. We went there once before, I recall at that time was still warm Fall, pond was full od ducks and definitely not frozen. Not today, tough. Today it was solidly frozen. I asked loudly: shall we go back home? Simultaneously we both replied: nah, what for? Let’s go further.
And we did. A lovely old windy road settled between orchards and farmhouses took us all the way to the beginning of Mission Creek Park. A park we know both very well, as we walked and hiked there twice. I posted here short photographic memories of the first trip[i].
Here are some more of the pictures from the other end of Mission Creek forest, the less travelled, definitely not touristy road.
There is a place full of magic. Place that deserves an ode, a poem. But a poem that you, the Reader, will have to write using your own words. I will just offer you some imagery captured on camera during my last visit to Vancouver ( a city full of its own magic and beauty). Therefore, without further ado, let me take you for a walk through that magical place.
Chodzę moimi ulicami, zaglądam do moich kawiarenek. Do Naszych Miejsc. Uśmiecham się do mijanych ludzi, rozmawiam nawet z nimi.
Nagle spostrzegam, że jestem cieniem. Spoza ich świata, poza nimi, obok. Nie, nie umykam chyłkiem, jak złodziejaszek kieszonkowy, jak przemytnik. Ale przenikam między nimi jak cień właśnie. Taki nie całkiem materialny.
Siedzę teraz w jednym z pokoików naszego Queer Community Centre[i] na rogu Davie and Bute. Lubiłem tu przychodzić. Sam, z Johnem. Taki dom poza domem. To tu był pierwszy w historii nowożytnych olimpiad oficjalny Gay Olympic Pawilon (Pride House)[ii]. Po tamtej Olimpiadzie takie Pawilony stały się normą sankcjonowaną przez MKO (Międzynarodowy Komitet Olimpijski). Uroczy recepcjonista wita mnie z uśmiechem i pyta czy ma mnie oprowadzić. Uśmiecham się, znam tu przecież każdy pokoik i zakamarek; przesuwam się bezszelestnie (cienie robią to świetnie) korytarzykami do jednego ze znajomych pokoi, siadam przy stoliku, otwieram notatnik i piszę właśnie te słowa.
Nałkowska używała w swoich Dziennikach często ten zwrot przy kolejnych wpisach: i znów zaszła zmiana w polu mojego widzenia. Ale tu teraz to nie pasuje. To ja – patrzący – przeszedłem zmianę. Stałem się przeźroczystym cieniem.
Ile jest takich cieni spacerujących ulicami? Czy mijam ich sam na skrzyżowaniach nie zauważając nawet? Może moja transformacja jest jeszcze za świeża, jeszcze nie zadomowiła się w mojej świadomości? Niełatwo, bo jeszcze słyszę stuk mojej laseczki i uderzenia cholewek na krawężniku trotuaru.
(English version)
It has been so peaceful and pleasant for the first few days here. Here – back to Our Home, Vancouver. You walked with me; you held my hand. At times – it seemed – you placed a kiss on my cheek.
But it changed abruptly. I noticed it on my second trip to Downtown Vancouver. I was alone. You were nowhere to be seen, to be touched. You were gone. As I know that you are.
Today I ventured closer to our first home on Capitol Hill in Burnaby, as I went to Commercial Drive in East Van.
Commercial is a lovely stretch of space between Hasting and Boadway, that contains people, their laughter, neighborly shopping in plentiful little shops, cafes. It is also a perfect mix of rich and poorer, accountants, architects and artists and artisans. Went to the Cultch Theater – the last play I have seen there years ago was a very good adaptation of “Waiting for Godot”, we went there to see it together, with You.
Stopped by Your favored shop on the corner of Commercial and Venables. Later I had sweets and excellent coffee in one of the cafes.
I looked everywhere. In vain. It came to me in a physical, sharp pain. As if something heavy and cold penetrated my heart. Something that screamed at me angrily: he is not here! He is gone! Oh, I so wanted to pick up a street fight with that screaming ugly IT, have even raised my walking stick a bit, was ready to shout back at IT: you are a liar! He is here, with me!
But there was no one around to scream at. The Screamer was not material, was invisible. But it was loud and clear.
You attempt to re-fight battles that you have had already lost is always futile.
This was one opportunity I didn’t want to miss. Last night piano concert of Nikolay Khozyainov in Kelowna, British Columbia. Have heard of this young pianist few times and his fame proceeded him. Was wary, though. Big fame and being a child prodigy (he started playing in … Siberia – in all of forbidden places – at an early age of six and as a child already performed in Russian cities, including Moscow, a city with earned reputation of being very strict in offering the stage to no one but the best as far as music is concerned) can be misleading and sometimes such career is cut short and musician falls into obscurity.
But Nikolay is no longer a child, and no longer a prodigy of anyone but his own talent and hard work. Bought the tickets well in advance while I was still in Halifax so as not to risk missing the concert.
A fact that he was a finalist in 2015 famous Warsaw’s International Chopin Piano Competition certainly cemented his statue as a pianist, and opened the doors of many international stages to him.
The auditorium in Kelowna’s Waterfront Art Centre is an elegant venue but not a very large one. But the seats are well arranged, and it looked like you could see the stage from every row and corner. In a small venue like that I usually choose either an isle seat or a seat at the very back (best for making quick notes without disturbing anyone).
Day was cold and being next to the huge lake added to that unpleasant coldness of late November. But inside the atmosphere was pleasant. My surprise was that there was not a printed program. In a concert where many pieces of many composers will be played it is helpful to have one. That was a serious minus on the side of the venue administrators. That was not the end of surprises, though. LOL.
When the virtuoso appeared on the stage I was – to say it elegantly – amused. Long gone are the days when longtails were the only accepted attire. Slowly they were replaced by afternoon elegant jacket, even black sweaters (Oh, Mon Dieu!). But pants remained elegant, sharply pressed. And shoes. Ah, the shoes – they are actually important, as they play, too – alongside hand and fingers. Something has to touch the pedals, LOL. Therefore shoes were elegant leather, shiny.
When Maestro Khozyainov entered the stage – he wore non of it. Pardon, except the light but elegant jacked. No, no. He wasn’t half naked! Just the rest of the attire really does not belong on a stage in a concert hall. Even in Kelowna. I was wondering how his cozy and warm winter shoes will feel the pedals …
I know, a bit long introduction – but I was truly amused by all of it.
Alas, back to music. Khozyainov begun with Chopin’s Nocturn D Flat Major, Op. 27. I thought it was a bit rough at times. The beautiful melodies few times were missing a note, or a note fell off the order. Which was sad since that Nocturne is one of the most beautiful nocturnes of Chopin. And yes, the pedals were not used as smoothly and as consistently as they should have.
Next was fantastic Prelude Op.45. Chopin himself said it was best prelude. I think the pianist did very good job in showing the elegant nature of this composition. Following with Ballade No. 4 in F minor, Op. 55 he brought peace to musical order. It is such a beautiful, poetic music. Khozainov fully regained his mastery of the instrument. I enjoyed it very much. It takes you for such a nice walk, memories of romance, of youth, of longing. Could be almost sentimental but still retains the deep feelings, the poetry of the soul. It remained me at times of the way incomparable Kristian Zimerman plays it. Use your inner feeling but stay close to the score seem to be the magic and don’t rush, allow the music to sink in.
After the Ballade, there was a short intermission and suddenly I felt like being back in Carnegie Hall or on Jasna Street in Warsaw’s Philharmonic. Back to great concerthalls of the world. Khozainov appeared in beautiful attire (with very shiny and elegant shoes, LOL) and things seemed all in place. Just waiting for the music to do the rest. It did.
Liszt and his delicate Impromptu Valse set the stage for musical fluidity, elegance. Following different feelings and pictures was Liszt Spanish Raphsody S.254. The Hungarian musical genius composed it in 1858, shortly after his visit to Spain. It has cascade of full octaves, rapid cords. A time to shine and awe, as Khozainov did. I wouldn’t have been surprised if suddenly a solo ballet dancer would appear and did some pirouettes to the music. It didn’t, but it felt like it could. That was certainly a grand finale to the first part.
During the short break I had a nice chat with a fellow, who sat right in front of me, and we exchanged few impressions. It was pleasant conversation to fill the free time (and not missing any equally pleasant innuendos, LOL). Music and romance? That never happens! Or was it just me, who forgot that it does indeed?
However – the time for truly great romance awaited us back in the hall. Ludwig van Beethoven – the towering giant of classical music.
Nikolay played masterly transcribed by Liszt Allegretto from Beethoven’s Seventh.
For a triumphant finale he played probably the most difficult and unusual piano music of the great composer – his Sonata No.23 Op. 57 known as Appassionata. I could easily see it more as a full Piano Concert with orchestra. It is long piece (it is a sonata after all, therefore not too long) but the difficulty lays in its structure, abrupt changes of tempo, emotion, almost loosing melodic motifs. In a way, the Appassionata should habe been composed fifty or seventy years later. It is very much not a mirror of tastes and styles in Herr Ludwig times. But Herr Ludwig was not a man of a’la mode – Beethoven was a man of musical genius. Timeless. I suppose, it must be very difficult and not easy to memorize it to play without the aid of printed score. Because the Appassionata has distinctive long intervals it is very wise for the pianist to remain in full control as some people would not start to clap, thinking it was the finale. Khozainov had it all in check.
I am not surprised that (although not part of this concert repertoire) that he has played and recorded the arch-difficult Gaspar de la nuit by Ravel.
Of course, every musician is prepared for a a short bis after a concert. Nikolay was too. However – none were prepared for almost an entire third part of the concert! It was a sheer bravado which ended in an amusing and happy cavalcade on the keyboard.
Scriabin, Chopin, Rachmaninov, you name it! All the virtuosic pieces that shine and wants the audience to stand up and dance to it. We almost did. Applause did not stop. Just when we thought it is over, done, when we thought that it is almost impolite to demand more … Nikolay played his own impromptu fantasy. And everyone went crazy. What a bravado, gusto with a touch of showmanship. A pure joy of the music. I loved it.
In a chat afterwards we used simultaneously three languages, as both of us knew them: Russian, Polish and English. And he signed my notebook with name I have not seen in a very long time – with ‘otchestvo’ – a Russian peculiarity of using one’s name and the name of one’s father. Because I have the same name , as my father – it is of course: Bogumil Bogumilowitz, LOL. I like it.
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